Monday, November 2, 2009

Amy's Thoughts On...

Amy's Thoughts On...
Pregnancy, Birth and all that BS.

Be prepared for absolute honesty!
(And feel free to comment with some of your own!)


"You don't get morning sickness the first month or two you're pregnant" - random baby books everywhere.
I call shananagans! About a week before I got my first positive test I kept getting nauseous. A couple times I puked. That's what made me want to take a pregnancy test in the first place. That and "mommy intuition" (more on that later). I read a lot of pregnancy books that said you don't get morning sickness till about the second or third month. That's a load of crap. My son wanted to make himself known as soon as the seed was planted!

"Getting pregnant is easy. Just don't use protection!"
Again, BOLOGNA! (Why is bologna pronounced ball-o-knee anyway? Gah. Moving on before I get way off topic!) My hubby and I stopped using protection a month after we started dating. Call us dumb, immature, stupid, wtf ever. That's not the point. The point is, two and a half years later, there was no baby. And we were fine with that. We got married, got an apartment together and started talking about "trying" to have a baby (charting cycles, eating better, doing the deed more often, etc...). We decided to "wait" on doing those things till after we got a house. Two weeks later I got a + test. Guess little Kota was just hanging out in there and said "They're talking of having a baby? Time to implant! GO! GO! GO!"


"You'll walk like a penguin"
True. I always said it wouldn't happen to me. But yes, I was doing the penguin for about two months before Kota was born.

"Sex sucks"
True. Gah, I felt so gross. I was huge. No position was comfortable. Weird things were going on down south. Sex was definitely out of the question for about the last 3 months of pregnancy.

"Do I have gas or was that the baby?"
The first time I felt Kota move, well, I wasn't sure if it was him or I was about to let lose a massive fart. But then he moved some more and I realized that was no fart bubbling, it was my little boy. :)
But on the subject of farting while pregnant, it gets bad. Real bad. Really, really REALLY BAD! At least for me it did. One time I ran to the bathroom to let lose and Mason was in the livingroom. He heard me fart from about 20 feet away, through closed doors, and said "Sweet Jesus woman, was that what I think it was?!" I came out and said "Just be happy I didn't stay in the room with you!".

Maternity clothes aren't awesome.
When I first found out I was pregnant I couldn't wait to get that big ol' baby belly and wear cute maternity clothes. The truth is, they're not cute. Well, they are when you first buy them. But you come to find out how expensive they are. $20 for a plain white shirt to cover your beach ball sized belly isn't cool. I found a lot of good deals at TJ Maxx and Ross. Again, the clothes were cute for maybe a month or two. But after 5 months of wearing jeans with an elastic waist band that keeps rolling down off your tummy, you want buttons and zippers back. I don't care what size maternity jeans I bought, that goddamned elastic waist band ALWAYS rolled down off my big belly and I was constantly having to pull up my pants. They should make maternity belts!

Wear a bikini!
I don't care how big you get. I don't care if you're month pregnant or eight. Wear that damned bikini (of course if weather permits, and you're at the beach. Going to Publix in a bikini wouldn't be a good idea. But who am I to judge.) This is the only time you can get fat and have an excuse. Even if you're already on the chubby side and you're only one month pregnant and you hate the way you look in a bathing suit. Now's your chance! If anyone says something, just say "I'm pregnant, back off bitch!" because you'll be grouchy anyway. :-D

Bitch, bitch, bitch!
I don't think I was a mean pregnant lady. At least, ya know, i've seen worse. I could have been worse. My hubby will tell you differently though. He'll tell you I was a terror when I was pregnant. Maybe I was, I don't know. I couldn't see my feet, I waddled, I pee'd every 5 minutes, my back hurt, my boobs were huge and leaking, and I kept having my ass kicked from the inside. I think men would be 10x bitchier if they were pregnant! Anyone would be bitchy in that situation!!

Labor & delivery/Birth/Being at the hospital

A c-section birth is still a birth!
A lot of people ask me if I regret or if i'm mad that I didn't get to have a vaginal birth. Regret? Mad? Nah. It would of been a great experience, but we had to do what was best for myself and my baby. I don't feel like any less of a woman or a mother because I didn't push my baby out. Nobody should feel like like of a mom/woman for not having a vaginal birth! A c-section birth is still a birth! I still felt like super woman after having him! I carried him for 9 months, gave him life, gave up sex, gave up CHOCOLATE! I'm not about to let anyone tell me that a c-section is any less of a birth! It didn't make me love him any less. I still cried when I saw him. It still took my breath away when I heard his first cries. I still got to hold him as soon as he was out!

"I'm going to have a smiley face where?!"
After they told me I was going to need a c-section, the doc was explaining how and what would go down during surgery. After they wheeled me into the OR and started to get me prepped, it was then he noticed I have two star tattoo's on my lower stomach. He said the incision will be below the bikini line, and with the two tattoo's, it'll look like a smiley face. My Dr was a nerd, haha!

Epidurals are amazing! And uncomfortable!
I was in labor for 10 hours. I was 3cm dilated, 80% effaced and nothing was changing (it had been that way for about 3 weeks). I had been induced (because of diabetes and blood pressure, but thats another story). After about 5 hours the contractions were getting stronger and closer together. I was miserable. So I told the nice nurse lady that I wanted an epi. Now. No, I don't want to try waiting a bit longer. Now. Now. NOW! So the epi guys (not sure what their actual title is) rolled in their gear. I had to sit up and lean over as far as I could. With my big belly, it was hard to do and *very* uncomfy! I'd heard a lot of horror stories about epidurals hurting really bad, and some 'epi tech guys' don't get it in right the first time and they have to keep trying over and over. Fuck that. I say if they don't get it right after two tries, ask for someone else to do it! I got lucky. They got it in no problem, first try! It didn't hurt either! Maybe it's just because I have a lot of tattoo's and i'm used to that kind of pain... All I felt was a pinch in my back, this weird tapping sensation on my spine (omg weirdest feeling EVAR!) and that was it. After that I was in heaven! :) It was a weird feeling though; being able to sort of feel your legs, but not really move them...

After surgery adventures!
I had to stay in the hospital a week after the c-section. For the first two nights Kota wasn't allowed to stay in the room with me after 7pm. They said it was because I needed to relax and rest after the surgery and I shouldn't be trying to get up constantly to tend to baby. How heartbreaking is that? Even during the day when he was in the room with me, I was told that Mason should bring the baby to me or call a nurse to help me out of bed to get the baby. I guess the nurses forgot that I felt like Super Woman. Silly nurses! I wouldn't let anyone help me up. The nurses took forever to get into the room to get me up and to baby. Hubby was still nervous about holding the fragile little darling and scared to try and pull me out of bed. So it was up to me, Super Woman, to get to that baby! Mason would freak out and go get the nurse to help me up, but by the time they got back I was already up! I can do it myself, i'm not waiting around for anyone's assistance! Did it hurt? Yes, definitely! But no amount of pain would stop me from getting to my hungry baby! I never realized how many activities involve your lower stomach muscles. After the c-section, it takes a while for the muscle to repair itself. Sitting up, coughing, peeing, rolling over, farting, laughing all hurt like hell!

Can I shower now?!
I wasn't able to shower for about 4 days post-surgery. I felt so gross. Once I did get to shower I think I was in there for over an hour, haha!

Where did my belly go?!
I always heard that after you have a baby that you'll still look pregnant for a while. That the belly doesn't go away right away. Well, once Kota was out, the belly was gone!


Maternity clothes are awesome!
I know that contradicts what I said earlier. But it's true! Maternity pants rock once you're not pregnant any more! Especially if you've had a c-section! The elastic waist band no longer rolls down. And they're just so damn comfy!!! I actually still have a pair of khaki capri's that I wear. They're too cute and comfy to get rid of!

And of course, what would this post be without pics?!

Me and the monster belly!

Rockin' that bikini!!

Don't babies look like zombies before they're cleaned up?
First family pic!

Wittle sleeping angel :)

Then - He was only about 3 or 4 days old! Such a cutie pie!!! ♥♥♥
Now - Still a cutie, of course! ♥ That was taken about a week ago.


  1. I got to be your first follower! Cute baby! I loved what you wrote about preganancy. I busted out laughing on the walk like a penguin1 I know I looked funny walking. Oh and whoever said that a c-section is easier than a vaginal delivery is full of crap!
    Looking forward to reading more posts!

  2. OMG you have me crying over here I'm laughing so hard!!

    Found you on MBC and now following. Also giving you this award cause i love love your blog.

    go here to check it out.

  3. Found you on MBC. Following your blog & on Twitter.

  4. I totally rocked to pregnant bikini! We have awesome pix of me laboring in the tub in my polka-dot bikini. Boy, do I look ripe!

    I'm following you from the MBC Under 100 Club. I look forward to reading more!

  5. Love this post! You made me giggle about several things... I am following from over at MBC!

  6. Loved this post! My names Amy too ( coincidence? yes... ) and i'm 9 weeks away from having my first baby. I waddle like a duck, my pants are always falling down and my little person loves nothing better than to squirm around in there all day long!

    And yet - so much else to look forward to....

  7. hahahah, I like what you said about MATERNITY CLOTHES AREN'T AWESOME and then MATERNITY CLOTHES ARE AWESOME!
    That is SO true. My maternity jeans saves me since I've been PP.
    and I would nooot step out in a bikini once I got a legit bump because I felt like I had a cottage cheese ass & thighs. I applaud you.