POAS

I've been feeling a little "off" lately. Pretty much like I did right before I found out I was pregnant with Kota. Kinda sick to my stomach, crampy, just in a crab-ass mood. So I decided to POAS (pee on a stick) and see if it came out positive or not. While I was in the bathroom, waiting for the line(s?) to show up, I found myself hoping to see two lines. Wow. It's not the best time, not even a good time, in our life right now to be having another baby. But I found myself sitting there with my fingers crossed, hoping to actually give Kota a baby brother or sister.

The test was negative. I was a little relieved, for the simple fact that, like I said, it's not the best time for us. But then I started doing things that I did when I would test when we were trying to conceive: hold the test up to the light and then proceed to break it open, just to make damn sure there wasn't another line hiding in there!

I HAVE BABY FEVER. AGAIN!

I've been on birth control, but i'm horrible about taking it. Sometimes i'll miss a day, and I never take it at the same time everyday. So there was that slim possibility that the test could of came back positive. But it wasn't.

A little while later I felt a um......sensation. So I go to the bathroom, and wouldn't you know, I started my period.

Ain't that a bitch?