Meet Agent Boner!

Word of warning, you may want to make sure the kids are out of the room before looking at this. Or heck, it may be a good time to teach them about anatomy. I'll leave that up to you....

Here we go!

No, you don't have to adjust your computer screen. It *is* what you think it is.A frog with a giant penis. Yep.
Now i'm sure you're wondering why, oh why, I am now the proud(?) owner of this fine piece of...whatever. Art? Anyway. It was a gift. From my in-laws. Yep.I collect frogs (specifically, tree frogs). I'm not manic or anything, it's not like I have a huge collection. I just have 3 stuffed ones (stuffed animals, not like, taxidermist stuffed!) and a metal wall art thingy of one. I think they're cute. :)But I draw the line at frogs with boners. I don't know what was running through my in-law's heads when they saw this. What made them say "OMG, Amy would LOVE this! We must buy it!" They seriously thought it was the bee's knees when they brought it to me. They were so excited, and thought it was hilarious. I was just kind of like "Oh, wow....thanks(?) Um...how...funny. Yeah.... *whispering to hubby* where the fuck am I going to put this?!"Now i'm trying to figure out if it's one of those things that you hide in the closet and only take out to display when you know the person who gave it to you is coming over. Or do I just shove it in the back of the closet, never to be seen again? Quite honestly I just feel awkward having it in my home. Heaven forbid, when Kota gets more mobile, he gets his hands on it. And anyone with a baby knows that what gets in the hands, goes in the mouth.Oh sweet Jesus pants that would be bad!I named this quirky little guy Agent Boner. While the in-laws were still here, chatting about...who knows, I had a murder mystery show on TV and the detective that was on there happened to be called Agent Boner. So I named froggy-with-big-wiener Agent Boner.

Ya know, when I was 16 I probably would of found this hilarious. But i'm almost 24. Married. With a baby. Now it's just awkward. And trust me, I have a sick sense of humor and a dirty mind. But this, this is just WEIRD! I don't know what to do with the damn thing. I'd feel dirty and creepy trying to sell it, or even give it to someone else.

I went to Google to try and look it up on there and see who made it or what exactly it's for (Father in Law said I could sit it near the sink and put my rings on it when I wash dishes! *shudder*) But I feel like such a perv going to Google and typing in "Frog with boner" "Frog with big penis" even "Ceramic frog with boner" shit just any variation of that just weirds me out.

Stupid fucking frog.