SUPER MUSHY BLOG ENTRY AHEAD!!
It's about 12:30 am. Why am I awake you ask? Because Prince Kota needed a diaper change. So I drag myself out of my warm, comfy bed, pluck him out of his crib, and onto the changing table. And the best part of my day happened. No, not getting to change a wet diaper. But, baby was still half asleep and laying there peacefully as I wrapped him up in a new Luvs. Then he looked up at me with his big blue eyes, gave a big smile, and fell back asleep.
My heart did one of these...
Way back when I was 15, if someone were to ask me "Would you ever be willing to take care of a small person who poops his pants, has no teeth, can't walk or talk and cries at every little discomfort?" my answer would be "I don't think so, scooter!" But i'd do it all over again. Surgery and all. I'd do it a million times over, just to feel that felling I get when he looks at me and smiles. I love my husband, I love my family, but there are no words to discribe the love I feel for my baby boy. Other mommies, you know what i'm talking about. That kind of love that makes you feel like you're heart is going to explode because you love so much. It's hard to explain, unless you know what i'm talking about. This kind of love makes you laugh, cry and smile all at the same time, for the same reason. That little person I gave life to could fart and start laughing and I would think it was the best thing since sliced bread!
I don't think I ever really understood how much parents love their kids till I had one of my own. Granted that your parents didn't beat the shit out of you and throw you out of a moving car or something like that. You know what I mean! The feeling that you would die for your little one. Really, truely give your life. Take a bullet. Lose a limb. Anything to insure they're happy and safe. It makes me appreciate my parents a lot more. :)
And whenever I think of the day he was born, when I first saw him and heard him cry, it makes my eyes water. The moment my life changed. I became a better person. My whole world became a better place now that he was in it.
Thank you Dakota, for blessing us with your presence and letting me be your mommy.